The Teachings

The Ten Commandments of the Bin

1. Thou shalt check the bins before the shops, for why render unto the till that which the skip provideth freely?
2. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's bin haul, unless he hath found cheese, in which case thou mayest covet a reasonable amount.
3. Honour the sell-by date, but fear not the best-before, for one is law and the other is vibes.
4. Thou shalt leave the bin tidier than thou foundest it, for the sloppy diver ruineth it for the whole congregation.
5. Thou shalt sniff before thou committest. The nose is the Lord's own quality assurance department.
6. Thou shalt not bin dive in thy good trousers.
7. Remember the Sunday evening purge and keep it holy, for that is when the bakery casteth out its abundance.
8. Thou shalt share thy haul with the fellowship, yea, even the good yoghurts. Even the Müller Corners, Geoff.
9. Thou shalt not eat the prawns. This commandment requireth no explanation. It is written in the tears of those who came before.
10. Thou shalt Bin Max daily, training body and soul, that thy reflexes be swift when the focaccia falleth.

The Parable of the Reduced Sticker

"A certain man went down from the office to the supermarket at 7pm, and fell among yellow stickers. And he beheld a chicken, reduced from £5 to 35p, and he hesitated, saying 'do I even need a chicken?' And while he pondered, a woman with a trolley took it, for she pondereth not. Verily I say unto you: she who hesitates at the reduced shelf shall watch another eat her chicken. But blessed is the one who waiteth two hours more — for the unsold chicken goeth unto the bin, and the bin chargeth nothing." — Skips 4:17

The Parable of the Two Divers

"Two divers went up unto the skip to forage. One dove headfirst, without looking, and landed upon a fortnight of egg mayonnaise. The other shone her torch, surveyed the strata, and withdrew a sealed crate of croissants. Be ye like the second diver. The first diver is Geoff. Pray for Geoff." — Lamentations of Geoff 1:1

On the Theology of Waste

Some say: "Is it not undignified, getting your dinner out of a bin?" To them we say: what is truly undignified is a civilisation that grows food, ships food, shelves food, and then at the stroke of closing time hurls that food into a metal box and padlocks it as if perfectly good flapjacks were a biohazard.

We did not put the feast in the bin. We are merely brave enough to retrieve it. In the beginning was the Waste, and the Waste was with Tesco, and the Waste was genuinely fine to eat.

And on the seventh day, the supermarket rested — but its bins did not, for Sunday is the great purge, and the faithful know it.

The Hierarchy of Finds

Not all finds are equal in glory. The Teachings recognise five tiers of blessedness: